I’ve fallen head over heals for Helena Guergis! Though when I first read the “Jaffer-Guergis” scandal stories I instantly wrote her off. Just another scum bag MP, I said, who abused her privileges, though an unusually beautiful MP. I read the allegations made in the media, which are often enough to be the judge, jury and executioner (more so if your in the Conservative caucus apparently) and took them for way more than they’re worth. No charges were laid, but the allegations were pouring in, overloading my brain and allowing me to get caught up in the hype. Not to mention the build up before this really blew up! You really can’t write this stuff!
For such a beautiful cabinet minister, Miss or Mrs. (this confuses me with her) Guergis was rather low profile. It wasn’t until her husband “R.J.” got busted for going a little too fast, while on a D&D tour with a little bit of “fluff” (Cocaine Slang Dictionary) in his pocket, that her new, yet unwanted fame became the talk of a town that talks a lot. So when she freaked out a few weeks later at a Charlottetown Airport I gave her a pass, it was probably a stress thing. Though when “R.J” got off with only a $500.00 fine, I happily jumped back into the oily seas of public outrage. Just remember to scream the name Rahiem the next time you find yourself before a judge because you were driving too fast, while drinking and driving with a baggy of cocaine in your pocket.Time to grab the shovel and dig for some dirt! Its still unknown who hired the shady P.I. that showed up on the Prime Minister’s door with enough goods to get Helena (I hope she doesn't mind) kicked out of cabinet, booted out of caucus and tasered...I mean investigated by the RCMP. No charges laid, but who needs them after all that! When you’ve lost an election and go into business in the private sector and your MP wife is putting bread on the table there is going to be strange ethical issues occurring. Hitting your uncle, cousin, father, sister or brother up with a contact or grant here and there seems to be the normal practice, but a spouse? Especially the failed M.P. who just got off with a $500.00 fine spouse? Nope there just has to be a show for this one. I think when the dust settles and clears we will be writing some new rules (and of course loopholes) for this sort of arrangement or relationship, whatever you want to call it.
So Helena, who is in way over her head and keeping quite, appears on the CBC for an exclusive interview with Peter Mansbridge. This is where I fall in love. No, it wasn’t because she still looks good when she cries or because you could tell by her body language that she was hiding something when asked about being present at a party with cocaine, prostitutes and worst of all Jaffer. No, what impresses me is that she is determined to stand with R.J. in very tuff times. I’m sure its been “over suggested” to her that she could save face by dumping him. Instead she says she wants to help him and stand with him. Having someone's back, when all hell breaks loose, is a rare deed these days, especially among Politicians. She could easily say it was his fault, she was manipulated. Who votes for a M.P. who is easy to manipulate though? A breakup wouldn’t save her career but if she does do away with R.J., after she losses the next election and she is still gorgeous, I’d let Helena have my back. (Cue music “Just the two of us” )
